I’m wrestling with thoughts of letting my story go in regards to ACMTC, of releasing my need to tell. (It’s not the first time.) Ever since being set free from the deception of “general” Deborah’s control, I’ve felt purposed, if you will, to tell my story, to stand against her and Jim and my ex-husband’s twisted lies, to expose them, and maybe to offer a glimpse of reality to those who are bound within their high walls.
But how much need I share, how much need I expose, and am I sacrificing my “now” by giving so much of attention to my past? I am. I feel like a school girl sometimes, tied to my desk as my family and my friends play outside. Let the work go. Go live your life. Three documentaries, and one up-and-coming. Is that enough? What will it take for me to let it go?
I did exactly what I said I wouldn’t do—view a few of ACMTC’s slanderous, vengeful, stupid PX2 file videos, and of course I’m going to REACT. Bad kind of stress. Nobody I know of even looks at their crap, and so why should I?
These are the questions I’m asking myself,