My son Nate (9) and daughter Lilly (4) are sick.
It’s morning and Nate’s face is flushed, he’s hot to the touch, feels awful, it’s obvious he’s sick. Steve makes him work anyway. I see the misery and the deep hurt in Nate’s face. Does his dad even care? Does he even love him anymore? I sorrow for him, and I’m really pissed off at Steve.
It’s later in the day and Lilly’s temperature is high, she’s burning up and weak. Steve comes into Barracks 1 where we live, and I tell him we need to take her to a doctor. He says nothing, leaves the house and climbs the stairs to the citadel where Jim and Lila Green are.
He returns and tells me I have a “spirit of motherhood,” that I put my children before god, and that is why Lilly is so sick. “You better prostrate yourself on the floor beside her, pray throughout the night, and beg god for his mercy, or he’s going to take her life,” he says. “That’s what General Lila says.”
My intention has long been to write a book. Years ago a ghostwriter proffered to write my story. I said no, I want to write it myself.
But there’s an old Chinese proverb that says, “He who writes lives life twice.” That’s why I get going and then I stop. It can be a real drag sludging through this crap. Do I really want to?
Only if I can make something good of it. If I can really make a difference. If I can help set someone free, help someone think for her or himself. Or If I can save a life. And if I can remain sane doing so.
Good article here, and precisely my thoughts about mindfulness. It explains how practicing mindfulness can be so healing.
Mindfulness promotes awareness. It shines light on our own erroneous, maybe conditioned thinking or views. It shows us a lot about ourselves, like for me right now, the elephant that’s in my room.
It can be uncomfortable, but at the same time very liberating, because it motivates and thus empowers us to do the work of change, not exteriorly mandated, but internally driven—the kind that happens from the inside out.
I’m done writing on this subject. Have I said that before?
This time I mean it. There’s nothing more I wish to say. If inspired maybe I’ll return, but I release any lingering feelings of duty. I’ve paid for my mistakes. I’ve warned others. I’m done.
I’m happy with who and where I am today. Happy in the here and now. I have everything I need. Family. Friends. Love. Purpose. Good health. Good food. Clean water. A place to call home. I’ve got it all.
My sincere best wishes and hopes for those who are trapped and all the people who love them.
My experience exactly, mine and others.
“A valuable red flag to recognize when trying to spot a sociopath is to see how they deal with attacks on their own integrity. If a sociopath is presented with a collection of facts, documents and evidence showing that he lied or deceived, he will refuse to address the evidence and, instead, attack the messenger!
If you really try to nail a sociopath down to answering a documented allegation, they will quickly turn on you, denounce you, and declare that you too are secretly plotting against them. Anyone who does not fall for the brainwashing of the sociopath is sooner or later kicked out of the circle and then wildly disparaged by the remaining members of the cult group.” Mike Adams
“Sociopaths are masters at weaving elaborate fictional explanations to justify their actions. When caught red-handed, they respond with anger and threats, then weave new fabrications to explain away whatever they were caught doing.” Mike Adams