Search Results for: sarah

my Sarah’s birthday

DSC06610-copy

Sarah’s birthday party, French Gulch, 1980. Today’s my darling Sarah’s birthday. Though she came unplanned and at a very confusing time in my young adult life (42 years ago), we were destined to be mother and daughter. I love her to infinity. Her love, wisdom and integrity challenge me to be a better person. More than any of my children, she’s taught me to listen.

Sarah’s father was/is a man of integrity. I was in a relationship with him for 3 years before Steve. During a long season of deep depression, I walked away from him—I was lost. I couldn’t fix what was broken inside me to make anything work.

In Steve’s letter he referred to Sarah as the daughter he “hated,” because she was of a “different father.” I wish I’d seen it back then. Ignorance blinds.

Shortly after we moved from French Gulch to Sacramento to join the Greens in their newly founded “Free Love Ministries,” AKA ACMTC, Jim, Lila (Deborah) and Steve insisted I give Sarah up. “It’s god’s will; we’ve got to obey god.”

The Greens had rules regarding “outside influences.” Steve said to Rick, Sarah’s dad, “she’s not your daughter any more, she’s mine,” denying him all visiting and parental rights. Rick took legal action to see his daughter, and I was coerced to let her go, because “Rick’s influence was of the world.”

One may assume Sarah was the lucky one, that she was spared the damaging effect of the Greens and Steve, and spared being married off at a young age to keep her put, to keep her under submission, as both my daughter Rebekah and the Green’s daughter Sarah were. But a daughter harshly cast off and divided from her mother is an awful thing. We don’t divorce children.

I vividly recall my last day with her, the day before her dad came to get her. When I picked her up from school that day, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Sitting in the back seat with Nate and Lilly, she stared out the window looking at nothing.

I didn’t understand why god was like this. It felt so wrong.

That evening Sarah made herself a bed on the floor right next to me, and I lay awake most of the night quietly crying and touching her golden head.

But the next day Rick came and got her and she was gone. 

Deborah Green found guilty on 7 out of 8 counts!

News from the victum-witness assistant at the DA’s office tonight: Deborah Green found guilty on 7 of 8 counts! This was trial #1 for Deborah regarding kidnapping, abusing, sexually penetrating, and causing great bodily harm to a child, M.G. (The second trial will be regarding the death of the old boy Enoch.)

I had the pleasure of meeting M.G., now 20 years old, and her adoptive mother. They rushed from the courthouse in Grants to the airport in Albuquerque to meet us before our flights. We were so excited, finally we can put a face to her name. Then a beautiful young African-American woman steps off the escalator, strong and tender. Sarah throws her arms around her, tears flooding her eyes. Then it’s Julie’s turn, then mine.

M.G has come a long way since Child Protective Services took her away from the Greens 12 years ago, and she is now strong and  determined to chase her own dreams. I think the saying “if it doesn’t break you it’ll make you” is mostly true. For her it took a loving, supportive, pro-active family, plus multiple painful surgeries and years of psychological therapy. Monsters may lurk outside her bedroom window for years yet to come, but M.G. chooses to live, to be strong, and to create a life that is meaningful to her. Her goal: to become a pediatrician. She’s been accepted into and is studying pre-med! I can’t tell you how happy that makes us feel!

“A weaker person would not have survived,” Judge James Sanchez told the victim. “That means you can continue on being strong.”

 

Martha, AKA Philemon

Screen Shot 2017-09-16 at 8.42.51 PM

Martha Chavarria, AKA Philemon Jordan, joined ACMTC about a year before I left. She was the oldest of six siblings, and had studied architecture at  Cal Poly. After joining ACMTC she tried to convince her sisters to join, and when they didn’t, she told them she had to cut them off, and never see them again.

I remember her as a beautiful younger woman with a sweet, kind, caring heart, or soul, or spirit, or what ever you want to call her essence. Steve (my ex), AKA Philip Jordan, married her 6 months after I was kicked out on the street. I was the lucky one. 

I was told by one former member that early on in their marriage they had a baby girl, Hannah. Per same ex-member, Steve didn’t go to the hospital with Martha when she went into labor, because according to Deborah, Martha was already idolizing her child.

Years later Martha became ill, and per another former member who was there at the time, Martha at least once went to see a doctor while out selling bread, but when Deborah Green found out about it she shamed her in front of everyone. She wasn’t trusting God. Not good enough. Not seeking God enough. Or she had hidden sin. God’s discipline. 

So she died out there, and her body is buried on the Green’s God forsaken land, and at the foot of her grave is a sign that reads, “He whom the father loves he chastises.”  

Screen Shot 2018-06-08 at 2.22.31 PM             Julie, Sarah Green’s beautiful little boy, and Martha, AKA Philemon

Screen Shot 2018-08-28 at 9.15.37 AM           Martha’s grave.Screen Shot 2018-06-12 at 7.28.51 PM

Response from Rachel, former ACMTC member for >20 years

by Rachel Johnson

When I first joined ACMTC I was a practicing alcoholic and inveterate smoker who was going nowhere fast.  I was a nurse working at a psych clinic on Stockton Blvd. in Sacramento, and saw the acutely insane and troubled up close, so an alternative to my chaotic life seemed to pacify me somewhat.

I did well there at first, but having a bit of a rebellious nature, it was ultimately not to be. As time went on I was not one of Lila’s “jewels” as she liked to call her favorites. It turned into a very difficult relationship as I became the bad example of the group (my past sins were abhorrent). But I wanted to overcome, and so I stuck with it through the time of shunning with Maura in the shed and beyond. I never did feel that I was in a secure place with God, even after 20+ years in there.  I was always in the position of being Lila’s target for jabs, and accused of things that necessitated my being removed from the rest of them by being shunted off somewhere else. The standing joke was, “oh, it’s Rachel’s fault.” But I kept going (I was also married to Mark Johnson).

A word about my brother Brad: I acknowledge that Rebekah’s letter denouncing Maura (her mother) was dictated by Lila, because I know her tactics, but re my brother Brad’s death, I just want to say that he told me he wanted an “early checkout,” as his life somewhat mirrored mine…going nowhere fast…and I do believe he is with the Lord now.  He also told me before going to Africa with the Greens, “I might not come back.” He had a premonition.

So in the interest of balance and fairness, I stopped drinking and smoking, and did an awful lot of walking while trying to sell Lila’s terrible banana bread. One of the members joked that he would tell customers “if you don’t buy this bread, I’m going to hit you over the head with it.”  Lila is so cheap she would not put decent ingredients in the bread, and it was dry and tasteless and very hard to sell for 10 bucks. You try it sometime. But all this preserved my health. I also gained something of an education by constantly reading as there was no TV to watch.

So finally Mark and I went from our ostracism in Berino, N.M. to living with “the group” again. In the very first meeting we attended Lila gave me a scathing criticism just so everyone would remember what a bad person I really was.  I even gave a testimony about the Joe Cocker song “Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood.” Big mistake.

Then something came out in another meeting about something wrong, so Lila immediately jumped on me, and then it turned out to be someone else. I decided then and there I had to leave as this would never improve.

I asked for a ride into Gallup, but of course that could not be, so I got out on the highway and hitched a ride with some Zunis on their way to the liquor store.  (I always found the Natives to be kind and funny, too, and I still carry a fondness for them). Lila’s last words to me were, “well you always liked hardship.” She was so happy to see me go.

I went through all the transition depression, feeling that my life was over, etc. I tried to reconnect with God, but it just wasn’t there anymore, and still isn’t really. I do believe, but I don’t pray or read my Bible. Conundrum. Do I feel that any hope of real faith was drummed out of me? Yes. Although I cannot blame anyone else for that.

As regards to this current situation, I see it like this:  Lila is an extremely formidable personality, way more than Jim.  So why wasn’t Jim accused by Miracle?  I think because he was always kind to her, whereas I actually saw Lila verbally and psychologically abuse Miracle in a shocking manner for a mere child.  She was kind of put in my category of one of suspect character who had to be “brought to heel.”  Then Peter was her parent, even after Sarah left, and Peter is very much under Lila’s thumb.

Many times I wonder if I could have gotten it together without going down that path. If I had I definitely would be happier now, but I can’t change the past, and I choose to still remember some good things about it. I had many, many conversations with many interesting people over the years while out trying to sell banana bread.  (Emphasis on trying.)

Rachel Johnson, Aug. 23, 2017

saying goodbye

images-6

When we move to Sacramento to join the Greens, life gets uncomfortable quickly. Not the friendly gatherings I’d hoped for. Within a few months Jim, Lila and Steve decide my daughter Sarah (then 11) has to go live with her father who the day before served me with papers for visitation rights. Steve had said to him, “You’re not her father anymore.” Rick’s only sin is loving his daughter, he only wants his father’s rights of connection. But his influence they say is “worldly, and he’ll spoil her, and it’ll harm her and all the other children, too.” 

A few weeks after Sarah leaves my 13-year-old daughter Iantha (Rebekah) is put to the test. She’s close to my mom whom we thought we’d see more of when we moved to Sacramento. But one night at a meeting Steve and the Greens tell her that grandma and grandpa are also “of the world, and she needs to choose between us or them. She says she wants to live with us. Steve thinks she needs her faith tested. “I want you to go live with them for a month,” he says, “and then you decide who you want to live with, us or them. You can’t have it both ways.

I stand up, take Iantha’s hand, and say, “You can’t do this to my daughter.”

Steve’s anger is palpable driving home, Iantha’s rigid in the back seat, Nate has the sniffles. After everyone’s in bed, Steve lets out his anger. “Don’t you ever embarrass me like that again, do you hear?  We’re here to do the Lord’s work, and if you don’t want to be a part of what Gods’s doing, then you and the children can all go live with your mom and dad.” I’ve never seen him angry like this. I was 35 years old and two months pregnant.

So Iantha lives with them for a month then calls us and says she wants to come home. To Steve her decision isn’t evidence enough of her commitment, and as soon as she’s home he says to her, “Put the stuff your grandmother bought you in this box, and in the morning we’ll go to the post office and return everything. And I want you to write your grandmother, and tell her you’ll never see her again.”

Iantha’ letter, found when cleaning out my mom and dad’s estate.

screen-shot-2016-10-28-at-1-09-18-pm

Deborah’s “20 million dollar lie” letter, part 1

Twenty Million Dollar Lie Part 1

Below are excerpts from “TWENTY MILLION DOLLAR LIE EXPOSED,” part one, written by Deborah Green who then ordered my daughter Rebekah to sign.  The original copy is 5 pages of small font, and so here I’ve edited it to reduce size. Like Deborah’s so-called prophesies, this heap of crap is redundant, drags out to great length, and full of Deborah’s dirty imaginings. I am not going type it all out, but I will copy and paste the whole thing.

I am writing, not as a member of Free Love Ministries, but as the daughter of the claimant in the $20 million lawsuit against Free Love Ministries.”

“My mother claimed that F.L.M. forced her to live like an animal for several months during which time they inflicted (according to her own imagination) punishments upon her. My mother claimed that they brain washed her. When she tried to stop the divorce and disannul (sic) it, her case lost in the courts.” (I never tried to annul it—the evidence of proof is on her, and there is none.)

“I am personally angered at my mother’s lying accusations and the stupidity of the courts and the public to buy her twenty million dollar lie.

“During her pregnancy with me, she was shacking up with a heroin addict who overdosed himself before I was born, she said he ‘got off on pregnant women.’ The tragic truth is: my mother forced me to live like an animal for many years from my birth up until she pursued her wanton and careless lifestyle, living a life of drugs, crime, promiscuity, group orgies, weird satanic religious rituals. She always had time for her countless lovers, her adventures into the dark regions of Satanic demon worship, and her drugs—but not her children. She was a full blown drug addict . I was left to be anyones’ prey during the group sex my mother was so fond of participating in. 

“When my mother was participating in her group sex orgies, she would often times allow me to be used and passed around. I was forced to participate in their weird and perverted religious activities, which were a mixture of Indian religion, demonic necromancy (communication with the dead) and sex and drug idolatry. When she gave birth to my sister, Sarah, they dedicated her to a demon and cooked her after birth. A portion of the afterbirth was also kept in a leather pouch as a ‘charm.’

“She was fond of photographing her daughters naked, and sent nude photos of us to the Generals Green who were living in Kentucky. My mother practiced using all kinds of herbs and was even able to give herself an abortion with black cohosh, she was proud of her results. My mother lived with me, my sister and two men as her lovers. She also enjoyed lesbian affairs.

“She never stops to consider the YEARS OF ANGUISH, PAIN AND SORROW SHE CAUSED TO BE CARVED INTO MY TENDER CHILD’S HEART.”  Whenever we did have food, my mother would mix in large amounts of marijuana so that everyone could continue to get “high.”

“During the times we lived in the town of French Gulch, the fornication flings of my mother were done when my stepfather was gone. My mother frequently dug our food out of dumpsters because she had to spend any money on marijuana. 

“Generals James and Lila Green began to visit us, driving 3 hours one way to bringing us groceries and money. We loved their visits as children because they would bring us food. My sister, Lillian almost died at the age of one month because of my mother’s neglect. 

“I AM A HEART BROKEN YOUNG WOMAN THAT THE PEOPLE AND THE COURT OF SACRAMENTO COULD HAVE BROUGHT SUCH A PACK OF LIES FROM SUCH A DEFILED LIAR AS MY MOTHER—MAURA. I’m ashamed to say she’s my mother.”

Compare these letters with Steve’s letter below.

—>COPY OF ORIGINAL LETTER

to a New Year

images-233

Something about posting Steve’s letter leaves me feeling a little taller today, feeling enabled, or empowered in some way to go forward with this blog.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

IMG_7077b-XL

Me, Nate, Sarah and Rebekah. New Years, 2012