the psychology of the cult experience – The New York Times

”In some respects the destructive effects of cult conversions amount to a new disease in an era of psychological manipulation.” Dr. John G. Clark Jr., professor of psychology at Harvard University Medical School.


People Magazine Investigates: Cults — Aggressive Christianity Missions — Maura Schmierer

—>Source: People Magazine Investigates: Cults — Aggressive Christianity Missions — Maura Schmierer

When a Narcissist “Gets Religion,” You Get Screwed! | Narcissism Meets Normalcy

—>Source: When a Narcissist “Gets Religion,” You Get Screwed! | Narcissism Meets Normalcy

Martha, AKA Philemon

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Martha Chavarria, AKA Philemon Jordan, joined ACMTC about a year before I left. She was the oldest of six siblings, and had studied architecture at  Cal Poly. After joining ACMTC she tried to convince her sisters to join, and when they didn’t, she told them she had to cut them off, and never see them again.

I remember her as a beautiful younger woman with a sweet, kind, caring heart, or soul, or spirit, or what ever you want to call her essence. Steve (my ex), AKA Philip Jordan, married her 6 months after I was kicked out on the street. I was the lucky one. 

I was told by one former member that early on in their marriage they had a baby girl, Hannah. Per same ex-member, Steve didn’t go to the hospital with Martha when she went into labor, because according to Deborah, Martha was already idolizing her child.

Years later Martha became ill, and per another former member who was there at the time, Martha at least once went to see a doctor while out selling bread, but when Deborah Green found out about it she shamed her in front of everyone. She wasn’t trusting God. Not good enough. Not seeking God enough. Or she had hidden sin. God’s discipline. 

So she died out there, and her body is buried on the Green’s God forsaken land, and at the foot of her grave is a sign that reads, “He whom the father loves he chastises.”  

Screen Shot 2018-06-08 at 2.22.31 PM             Julie, Sarah Green’s beautiful little boy, and Martha, AKA Philemon

Screen Shot 2018-08-28 at 9.15.37 AM           Martha’s grave.Screen Shot 2018-06-12 at 7.28.51 PM

Deborah’s eyes

Look into her eyes. She made us feel like she could see right through us, into our souls, things we couldn’t ourselves see. She’d be outside hanging wet clothes on the line having conversations with God, and he’d tell her what’s in people’s hearts. She’d say things about me and others that we knew weren’t true, but we’d believe her anyway. She had that kind of power over us. She had, we thought, the mind of God. Cross her and you were on the wrong side.

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This is the look she gave me when she opened her backdoor to my timid knock, as I stood there on rubbery legs on her wooden deck, after she’d announced to the body that “God’s judgment was coming, and judgment begins in the house of God.” I suspected it was me, not because I was fornicating, or lusting after other men as they say, but because I’d been repeatedly told that I “leaned on my own understanding,” and “put my children before God.” I wasn’t “disciplining” them as I ought. After all, “this is not a family church, this is God’s Army,” and belonging meant denying ourselves, sacrificing our time, our private lives, our family, our comforts, our emotions, our own will, everything to the will of God.

Deborah’s vision

Deborah’s vision, copied from ACMTC’s website. Prophetic? Why do so many cult leaders glorify suffering for God?Screen Shot 2018-08-08 at 9.29.21 AM

how much they hate me

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Below: MS is Maura Schmierer, Bob B. is my CA attorney Bob Blasier, and Rick R. is cult expert Rick Ross.

From ACMTC’s Website
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who’re the real character assassins?

From ACMTC’s website:Screen Shot 2018-06-06 at 4.51.00 PM



THIS IS CALLED GASLIGHTING. What they say of me and others is true of them. They’re the real liars, tyrants and terrorists. And what they call persecution, we call being held accountable


Plato’s dream cave world

Screen Shot 2018-05-30 at 9.06.01 PM   Jon Kabat-Zinn

“people don’t understand because they’re not one of us”

“…there is a sense, spoken or unspoken, that others will not understand what we’re all about… . There’s an assumption that 1), what we say, know or do is a result of our being more enlightened than others; 2) that others will not understand unless they become one of us; and 3, that others will respond negatively.

In a place where authority is…legislated, not simply demonstrated, persecution sensitivity builds a case for keeping everything within the system. Why? Because of the evil, dangerous people outside the system who are trying to weaken or destroy ‘us.’ This mentality builds a strong wall or bunker around the abusive system, isolates the abusers from scrutiny and accountability, and makes it more difficult for people to leave.”

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen