now go in shame

Screen Shot 2017-09-12 at 12.14.46 PM“Now go in shame.”—Lila Green’s words to me after declaring me forsaken by God. I was not the first to be rejected, and certainly not the last. Everyone in there at some time or another was shamed, the more favored less, the less favored more. Steve wrote his letter to me when under the spotlight of shame. My children and other’s were frequent targets of shame, and a child with a problem was a parent with a problem, somehow related to their relationship with God. Something wasn’t right with the parent. Nothing at all to do with how the child was being treated. I had “rebellion in my heart.” We were as disciplined as anyone, and we earnestly sought to please God, but some of us were less fervent, and we just never quite measured up. I saw glimmers of gas-lighting, not knowing what it was or what it was called. I questioned if this was really God. But Steve, my husband, he was Jim and Lila’s right-hand man. He too prophesied, and he had his own power.

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