When a Narcissist “Gets Religion,” You Get Screwed! | Narcissism Meets Normalcy

—>Source: When a Narcissist “Gets Religion,” You Get Screwed! | Narcissism Meets Normalcy

Martha, AKA Philemon

Screen Shot 2017-09-16 at 8.42.51 PM

Martha Chavarria, AKA Philemon Jordan, joined ACMTC about a year before I left. She was the oldest of six siblings, and had studied architecture at  Cal Poly. After joining ACMTC she tried to convince her sisters to join, and when they didn’t, she told them she had to cut them off, and never see them again.

I remember her as a beautiful younger woman with a sweet, kind, caring heart, or soul, or spirit, or what ever you want to call her essence. Steve (my ex), AKA Philip Jordan, married her 6 months after I was kicked out on the street. I was the lucky one. 

I was told by one former member that early on in their marriage they had a baby girl, Hannah. Per same ex-member, Steve didn’t go to the hospital with Martha when she went into labor, because according to Deborah, Martha was already idolizing her child.

Years later Martha became ill, and per another former member who was there at the time, Martha at least once went to see a doctor while out selling bread, but when Deborah Green found out about it she shamed her in front of everyone. She wasn’t trusting God. Not good enough. Not seeking God enough. Or she had hidden sin. God’s discipline. 

So she died out there, and her body is buried on the Green’s God forsaken land, and at the foot of her grave is a sign that reads, “He whom the father loves he chastises.”  

Screen Shot 2018-06-08 at 2.22.31 PM             Julie, Sarah Green’s beautiful little boy, and Martha, AKA Philemon

Screen Shot 2018-08-28 at 9.15.37 AM           Martha’s grave.Screen Shot 2018-06-12 at 7.28.51 PM

Deborah’s eyes

Look into her eyes. She made us feel like she could see right through us, into our souls, things we couldn’t ourselves see. She’d be outside hanging wet clothes on the line having conversations with God, and he’d tell her what’s in people’s hearts. She’d say things about me and others that we knew weren’t true, but we’d believe her anyway. She had that kind of power over us. She had, we thought, the mind of God. Cross her and you were on the wrong side.Screen Shot 2018-06-08 at 9.51.51 AM
This is the look she gave me when she opened up the door to my timid knock on the citadel’s back door. I stood there on week, rubbery legs. This was the eve she announced before all of us that “God’s judgment was coming, and “judgment begins in the house of God.” I suspected it was me, not because I was fornicating, or lusting after other men as they say, but because I’d been repeatedly told by Steve and Lila and now Jim too that I “leaned on my own understanding,” and I “put my children before God.” I wasn’t “disciplining” them as I ought (with Steve’s leather belt). And, “this is not a family church, this is God’s Army.” This is “where soldiers are made.” I hadn’t sacrificed enough, hadn’t denied myself enough. Everybody, especially my children and my spouse, and anything that meant anything to me was suspect of being an idol before god. Yeah, crazy shit.

Deborah’s vision

Deborah’s vision, copied from ACMTC’s website. Prophetic? Why do so many cult leaders glorify suffering for God?Screen Shot 2018-08-08 at 9.29.21 AM

how much they hate me


Below: MS is Maura Schmierer, Bob B. is my CA attorney Bob Blasier, and Rick R. is cult expert Rick Ross.

From ACMTC’s Website
Screen Shot 2018-06-07 at 7.50.08 PMScreen Shot 2018-06-07 at 7.48.58 PM


who’re the real character assassins?

From ACMTC’s website:Screen Shot 2018-06-06 at 4.51.00 PM



THIS IS CALLED GASLIGHTING. What they say of me and others is true of them. They’re the real liars, tyrants and terrorists. And what they call persecution, we call being held accountable


Plato’s dream cave world

Screen Shot 2018-05-30 at 9.06.01 PM   Jon Kabat-Zinn

“people don’t understand because they’re not one of us”

“…there is a sense, spoken or unspoken, that others will not understand what we’re all about… . There’s an assumption that 1), what we say, know or do is a result of our being more enlightened than others; 2) that others will not understand unless they become one of us; and 3, that others will respond negatively.

In a place where authority is…legislated, not simply demonstrated, persecution sensitivity builds a case for keeping everything within the system. Why? Because of the evil, dangerous people outside the system who are trying to weaken or destroy ‘us.’ This mentality builds a strong wall or bunker around the abusive system, isolates the abusers from scrutiny and accountability, and makes it more difficult for people to leave.”

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen

new docudrama re ACMTC: Army of God

The Investigation Discovery Channel and People’s magazine have partnered to create a new series about cults called People Magazine Investigates: Cults. The series premiers on June 4th and the episode regarding ACMTC (Army of God) airs on July 2nd.

People Magazine Investigates: CULTS explores how destructive and terrifying cults can be to cult members and their families.  Each of the 6 one-hour episodes dives deep inside a twisted American cult, building to that pivotal moment when blind worship turns violent and even deadly.  From Jonestown to the Army of God, PEOPLE reporters are on the front lines, revealing the untold stories of power-crazed cult leaders using mind control, sex, and violence to manipulate and dominate followers. Each episode follows PEOPLE’s trusted journalists as they doggedly investigate the evolution of these cults, expose their bizarre and brutal day-to-day rituals, and speak first-hand to survivors who narrowly escaped lives of misery to put their cult nightmares finally behind them.”  DiscoveryIncTV

people don’t just choose to join a cult

“Many people think a cult is just a strange religion or strange set of belief systems, but the defining factors are more the abusive things, like having rights and freedoms taken away from members, and then instilling in them an extremism, and a sense of black-and-white thinking.

People don’t go down a list of known cults, choose one and think, this is the philosophy that best suits me. The key thing to remember is that they don’t know what they’re joining — this is where coercion comes into it.

If people knew upfront what all the beliefs of the group were they would probably never join, but it’s a slow process where the inside doctrine of a group is released over time.

Tore Klevjer, former Children of God member for 11 years.

—>Source: Life in a cult: ‘Like an extreme version of domestic violence’ – RN – ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)