—I am an Accuser, by Johanna
I am an accuser with many accusations. As a former member of ACMTC community I have a lot to say about what I witnessed.
In 1984 at the age of 17, I joined Free Love Ministries (ACMTC) in California, which after Maura’s lawsuit fled to Oregon, and then to New Mexico. I was 36 when I left 20 years later, and in those years I witnessed a lot of abuse. Most of my heartache is from the mistreatment of the children. As we became more and more isolated, treatment got worse, and more intense.
In the beginning Miracle (the Ugandan baby who was smuggled in from Africa) was first mothered by the general’s daughter, who treated her very well, cherishing her and treating her as she did her own two boys. The boys, Deborah and Jim’s grandchilden, were held to a different standard of care and rules than the other children, and Miracle fit right in.
Sad for Miracle though, that all changed. The Green’s daughter felt tapped and wanted to do other things than be a part of her parent’s vision for her and her role and place in their ministry. Unhappy, she eventually couldn’t take the pressure and the unrealistic demands put on her by Jim and Deborah, and she left, leaving her children and Miracle to the care of her husband and her mother. She couldn’t stand being there anymore.
At this time Miracle was about 2 years old, and her life of being pampered and groomed by a loving mother changed. Gen. Deborah said that pampering Miracle was “prideful, and too much work,” so she shaved the girl’s head, saying that God said that “locks of hair were a source of pride.” Miracle felt shame and humiliation. She was often made to do house chores while her brothers got to goof off and be real children, and could come and go and do as they liked. Miracle could never ask for anything to eat, or ask to do anything herself. Like all the other children, her days were routinely set out for her, usually by Deborah Green. If she dare cry or show any emotion she would be yelled at or whipped and humiliated by Deborah, who sometimes chased her, and called her names like “lazy” and “witch.” Deborah Green would say that we didn’t know what God had planned for Miracle’s future, maybe he had plans for her to return to Africa. That was her reason for treating her so badly, to harden her, break her.
As Miracle grew older a birth defect was twisting her body which made it difficult for her to walk. Nevertheless, Deborah would make the child run from the house out to the front gate, out to the main highway, I’m guessing about a quarter of a mile. I never heard Deborah’s reasons as to why she did this, but I knew it was her way of punishing Miracle for being crippled. Often I tried to keep the kids busy, away from Deborah’s wrath. It pained me deeply to see the children mistreated, but when I gave them my attention, or love, as I called it, Deborah would accuse me of “playing house with them,” and “treating them like my Barbie dolls.” And then, not only would I be shamed for loving them, but the children would be shamed as well. It never ended well trying to speak your own mind or share your true feelings around Deborah, so I ended up saying nothing. I held the pain and the hurt in, burying it deep inside. As a result I became numb and fearful, and I wrestled with the whole concept of what does following God even mean? Nothing I ever did made Deborah happy, or “God” happy, as she would say. It was a painful place to hide.
For all the lies and accusations Deborah dished out to me, and all other former and present cult members, I think it’s Karma holding her to account, you get what you give. Karma is for a reason. So many times she made up stories, lies about us, often sexual in nature, and she’d say, “God told me.”
Accuser: a person who claims that someone has committed an offense or done something wrong.
Accusation: a charge or claim that someone had done something illegal or wrong.
“Every time you point your finger, you’ve got three fingers pointing back at you.” (General) James Green.
—Johanna, Aug. 25, 2017.
