Sarah Green’s life today.

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Here she is, Sarah Green, November 1st, running the NYC marathon. I love her passion for moving forward in life. What a winner! This is her 28th marathon. I’m happy for all the good she’s experienced since breaking away from her crazy mother and dad. It wasn’t easy, but she did it, and she’s free.

Sarah Green

Screen Shot 2019-04-12 at 10.38.25 AMThirty-five years ago in my mind Sarah and Joshua Green were the lucky ones. I mean, what applied to my and other’s children didn’t always apply to them. They had hamsters, dogs, Josh had model cars, model airplanes, and Sarah collected antiques. Steve made our kids throw their fun into the garbage: Nathan his legos, Ruth her doll, Simon his guitar. Plus Sarah and Josh got away with doing things the other kids couldn’t.

But today I look back, and I realize I was wrong. They suffered immensely. Joshua because he could never break free of his mom and dad’s will, their grip, their claim on his life for their “army.” It was all he knew. If he left, where would he go, what would he do? Sarah because she had her own mind, her own dreams apart from what her mom and dad planned for her. I remember the first time she ran away as Jim and Lila prepared to leave for the Philippines. They had to cancel their flight, and after finding her the next day, they rebooked their flights, and they took her with them, and when they returned they left her there for five long months. They were going to teach her a lesson.

I can only speculate why Jim and Deborah arranged for Sarah to marry Mike Brandon, then Peter Royce, now Peter Green, when she was 17 years old. Mike was a favorite of the Green’s, a diehard believer (as into her as my ex) that Deborah received daily “words of the spirit” from God.  And Peter’s family not only supported their son’s choice “to serve god,” they also financially gave to the “ministry.” So it was a win-win for Sarah to Mary Peter, plus it would keep Sarah put, at lest for awhile.

(This was Peter’s second marriage within ACMTC. His first wife, Mary Royce, apparently didn’t buy all the way in. Deborah told Peter to drive her to Reno, and to drop her off somewhere on the side of the road. She was several months pregnant. Former members say Deborah despised Mary, declaring her evil, and ordered Peter to drive to her to Reno to get rid of her.)

Sarah and Peter had two boys, plus Sarah cared for M.G. (who landed Deborah in prison on charges of mental, physical, and sexual child abuse) as her own. Sarah loved M.G. I can only imagine the conflict she endured as she watched the very fabric of her life being torn. She loved those babies, but because of her parent’s psychotic claim on her life, and now on the lives of her children, she knew that if she left, she couldn’t take her babies. Peter and her mom and dad would not have it. They’d stand in her way, block her from going out the gate.  So on the most difficult day of her life, Sarah ran away, leaving her children behind, hitchhiking from New Mexico to Washington where a former ACMTC member lived, staying in homeless shelters along the way. She would later return to N.M. to try to get her kids, but to no avail.

Last month I was anxious to see Sarah again. I knew she was also subpoenaed to Deborah’s trial. I’d tried in vain over the years to find her. She was 12 years old last I saw her, and now she’s 46. Was she angry with me for exposing her mom and dad, and all the trouble I’ve caused them? Was she really going to testify AGAINST her mother?

I met her as we were being escorted to the courthouse in a car. “Okay, let’s do this, she said, “I love my mombut she’s crazy.” And on our last night in NM, on the day she gave testimony against her mother, she said, “I felt absolutely no emotion seeing her. She’s like an empty shell.” 

I gave her a card with a painting of a cactus on the front, with the inscription, I’m sorry I’m such a prick. I told her I was sorry for all the pain and heartache she’s suffered over the years, and sorry if I added to it by my lawsuit and all that occurred after.

Tears fell down her beautiful face and she flung her arms around me, holding me tight. “My mother’s a monster,” she said,  “All the shame I felt, leaving my babies. I had to escape, I just had to, and there’s no way I could have taken my babies with.”

“Those memories will never go away”, I said, “but the shame, the blame, the guilt: those don’t belong to you, they belong to Deborah. 

In the end she gave me something I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. Holding me tight she says to me, “thank you for paving the way.” 

Screen Shot 2018-10-09 at 9.03.18 AMBack row: Deborah, Jim, Joshua, Peter (behind Filipino man), and Sarah (Circa 1983). Peter was about 10 years older than Sarah, and he currently awaits trial for 100 counts of child rape. 

IMG_2715                                              Sarah and my son Nate, reunited after 20 years.   

IMG_2717                                                                Julie and Sarah.

So Sarah left ACMTC running, and she hasn’t stopped. Today at age 46 she’s a triathlete. She’s run 27 marathons, and says it’s how she copes with her past.

Martha, AKA Philemon

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Martha Chavarria, AKA Philemon Jordan, joined ACMTC about a year before I left. She was the oldest of six siblings, and had studied architecture at Cal Poly. After joining ACMTC she tried to convince her sisters to join, and when they didn’t, she told them she had to cut them off, and never see them again.

I remember her as a beautiful younger woman with a sweet, kind, caring heart, or soul, or spirit, or what ever you want to call her essence. Steve (my ex), AKA Philip Jordan, married her 6 months after I was kicked out on the street. I was the lucky one. 

I was told by one former member that early on in their marriage they had a baby girl, Hannah. Per same ex-member, Steve didn’t go to the hospital with Martha when she went into labor, because according to Deborah, Martha was already idolizing her child.

Years later Martha became ill, and per another former member who was there at the time, Martha at least once went to see a doctor while out selling bread, but when Deborah Green found out about it she shamed her in front of everyone. She wasn’t trusting God. Not good enough. Not seeking God enough. Or she had hidden sin. God’s discipline. 

So she died out there, and her body is buried on the Green’s land, and at the foot of her grave is a sign that reads, “He whom the father loves he chastises.”  

Screen Shot 2018-06-08 at 2.22.31 PM             Julie, Sarah Green’s beautiful little boy, and Martha, AKA Philemon

Screen Shot 2018-08-28 at 9.15.37 AM           Martha’s grave.Screen Shot 2018-06-12 at 7.28.51 PM

Julie, former ACMTC member

“Gudino left the group in 2004. What she claims happened while she was a member is now detailed in pages of arrest warrants that led to criminal charges against the Greens and some of their followers. Along with other former members, she told the Cibola County Sheriff’s Office that children were abused on the compound because members took everything Deborah said as if it were directly from God. If you don’t obey these things that God is ordaining, then you are going to be a backslider, you’re going to be on the verge of hell.”  KOAT Action News.

—>Source: Former Aggressive Christianity member speaks out 

Comment by Rachel Johnson, former ACMTC member for >20 years

—By Rachel Johnson

So how did all this come to pass and what went wrong here? Why was Lila so intently conscientious about punishing the sins others? Why did she see her calling as the mistress of the judgment of God, and was she really in such an exalted position that she could rightfully assume that role?

We know she had always aspired to spiritual heights even as a young hippie and spiritual seeker with Jim Green back in the day. She had been antagonistic toward a notion of God after her brother died of cancer at a young age. This is when she met Maura Schmierer. Then I do believe that she was gifted by God after their “road to Damascus” conversion to Christ. Ex member Julie Gudino was also gifted by God when she showed up as a 17 year old in 1984.

I believe that God does speak through prophecy. This was always the “hook”. What is God saying to us today? Initially this seemed to bring us into the presence of God where we could actually know what the hell is going on here. It’s very heavy stuff and not for the faint of heart.

But why then did this then progress into the typical cult scenario of cutting off your former ties….family and otherwise? I know I did hear from God on some things but not this. This was told to me. So we are all rolling along and even confessing our sins to one another, and then we get that God is interested in judgment. So, judgment begins in the house of God.

Now, some of us that were older and had lived in the fast lane seemed to not get the depth of our sins sufficiently. Maura and I were put into shunning mode to contemplate our badness and really repent. Okay, but this never did have its desired end; presumably because we were rotten to the core. Then all the sanctions did nothing to improve matters. Was all this drama really God’s way? This is where it gets dicey. If you feel/believe that you have plumbed your depths and nothing works out, then what?

Lila was the arbitrator and we just had to believe that she knew what she was doing. I remember one of her first confessions of sin was that God told her she “vaunted herself too much”.  Never heard too much about it after that.
I think it takes a balanced and anchored perception to be a true spiritual leader. There should be no place for flights of fancy or perceptions of self as an instrument of God’s punishment if only to avoid impugning God’s good name. We all know God is more than capable of administering His own judgment.

I remember she confessed once that she was jealous of Mary Magdalene because Magdalene was so close to Christ. Jealous of Magdalene? What kind of idiocy is that? I fear that she let her mind/spirit cross over into fanaticism and ultimately has allowed the world to ridicule God’s purposes. Unless they really are the two witnesses spoken of in Revelation as they believe they are. —Rachel Johnson.

Response from Johanna, ACMTC member for 20 years

I am an Accuser, by Johanna

I am an accuser with many accusations. As a former member of ACMTC community I have a lot to say about what I witnessed.

In 1984 at the age of 17, I joined Free Love Ministries (ACMTC) in California, which after Maura’s lawsuit fled to Oregon, and then to New Mexico. I was 36 when I left 20 years later, and in those years I witnessed a lot of abuse. Most of my heartache is from the mistreatment of the children. As we became more and more isolated, treatment got worse, and more intense.

In the beginning Miracle (the Ugandan baby who was smuggled in from Africa) was first mothered by the general’s daughter, who treated her very well, cherishing her and treating her as she did her own two boys. The boys, Deborah and Jim’s grandchilden, were held to a different standard of care and rules than the other children, and Miracle fit right in.

Sad for Miracle though, that all changed. The Green’s daughter felt tapped and wanted to do other things than be a part of her parent’s vision for her and her role and place in their ministry. Unhappy, she eventually couldn’t take the pressure and the unrealistic demands put on her by Jim and Deborah, and she left, leaving her children and Miracle to the care of her husband and her mother. She couldn’t stand being there anymore.

At this time Miracle was about 2 years old, and her life of being pampered and groomed by a loving mother changed. Gen. Deborah said that pampering Miracle was “prideful, and too much work,” so she shaved the girl’s head, saying that God  said that “locks of hair were a source of pride.” Miracle felt shame and humiliation. She was often made to do house chores while her brothers got to goof off and be real children, and could come and go and do as they liked. Miracle could never ask for anything to eat, or ask to do anything herself. Like all the other children, her days were routinely set out for her, usually by Deborah Green. If she dare cry or show any emotion she would be yelled at or whipped and humiliated by Deborah, who sometimes chased her, and called her names like “lazy” and “witch.” Deborah Green would say that we didn’t know what God had planned for Miracle’s future, maybe he had plans for her to return to Africa. That was her reason for treating her so badly, to harden her, break her.

As Miracle grew older a birth defect was twisting her body which made it difficult for her to walk. Nevertheless, Deborah would make the child run from the house out to the front gate, out to the main highway, I’m guessing about a quarter of a mile. I never heard Deborah’s reasons as to why she did this, but I knew it was her way of punishing Miracle for being crippled. Often I tried to keep the kids busy, away from Deborah’s wrath. It pained me deeply to see the children mistreated, but when I gave them my attention, or love, as I called it, Deborah would accuse me of “playing house with them,” and “treating them like my Barbie dolls.” And then, not only would I be shamed for loving them, but the children would be shamed as well. It never ended well trying to speak your own mind or share your true feelings around Deborah, so I ended up saying nothing. I held the pain and the hurt in, burying it deep inside. As a result I became numb and fearful, and I wrestled with the whole concept of what does following God even mean? Nothing I ever did made Deborah happy, or “God” happy, as she would say. It was a painful place to hide.

For all the lies and accusations Deborah dished out to me, and all other former and present cult members, I think it’s Karma holding her to account, you get what you give. Karma is for a reason. So many times she made up stories, lies about us, often sexual in nature, and she’d say, “God told me.”

Accuser: a person who claims that someone has committed an offense or done something wrong.
Accusation: a charge or claim that someone had done something illegal or wrong.

“Every time you point your finger, you’ve got three fingers pointing back at you.” (General) James Green.

—Johanna, Aug. 25, 2017.

Email to Jim Green from Julie, ACMTC member for >20 years

—by Julie Gudino, former ACMTC member

Dear Jim Green, you have an opportunity now to do what your heart has always told you to do, dissolve the group and send them all home to their appropriate families!!

You’ve allowed these people to suffer for too long with Lila’s false proclamations. Now she’ll have the opportunity to ask for forgiveness for all the people she has harmed. I hope and pray that you will dig deep and find your peace with what has taken place, and all of Lila’s lies and secret devious plots against the past and present followers will pierce her heart and mind, if that’s even at all possible.

Honestly, I loved the both of you as my own parents, what you did to our family was unnecessary, and for many years you both falsely accused my family when all we did was sacrifice our own-selves for what you promised to be to us, true leaders with 100% support to the life we put into your care (my son). Instead you took his young life and you nearly destroyed him, and in the end you wanted to see him dead (when you asked us to send him to the Army to be punished I woke up and realized that you never had our interest at heart, but your own selfish gain). All those years I gave you both my trust and devotion, but the knife you put into my back will leave a scar that only this sort of justice will heal.

You and Lila can’t save the world, only Jesus can, and this is proof that God does bring justice. It’s time you find true salvation and let His people go!For those 20 years I lived in silence, afraid of what speaking the truth would do to me, and the fear that I would lose grace with ACMTC, it’s been a slow process, but I have enough voice to acknowledge and report the hideous acts of sin and death you brought me and other members who also gave their undying love to you. Please, let the world know you’re sorry and pay the price for your actions!

Response from Rachel, former ACMTC member for >20 years

by Rachel Johnson

When I first joined ACMTC I was a practicing alcoholic and inveterate smoker who was going nowhere fast.  I was a nurse working at a psych clinic on Stockton Blvd. in Sacramento, and saw the acutely insane and troubled up close, so an alternative to my chaotic life seemed to pacify me somewhat.

I did well there at first, but having a bit of a rebellious nature, it was ultimately not to be. As time went on I was not one of Lila’s “jewels” as she liked to call her favorites. It turned into a very difficult relationship as I became the bad example of the group (my past sins were abhorrent). But I wanted to overcome, and so I stuck with it through the time of shunning with Maura in the shed and beyond. I never did feel that I was in a secure place with God, even after 20+ years in there.  I was always in the position of being Lila’s target for jabs, and accused of things that necessitated my being removed from the rest of them by being shunted off somewhere else. The standing joke was, “oh, it’s Rachel’s fault.” But I kept going (I was also married to Mark Johnson).

A word about my brother Brad: I acknowledge that Rebekah’s letter denouncing Maura (her mother) was dictated by Lila, because I know her tactics, but re my brother Brad’s death, I just want to say that he told me he wanted an “early checkout,” as his life somewhat mirrored mine…going nowhere fast…and I do believe he is with the Lord now.  He also told me before going to Africa with the Greens, “I might not come back.” He had a premonition.

So in the interest of balance and fairness, I stopped drinking and smoking, and did an awful lot of walking while trying to sell Lila’s terrible banana bread. One of the members joked that he would tell customers “if you don’t buy this bread, I’m going to hit you over the head with it.”  Lila is so cheap she would not put decent ingredients in the bread, and it was dry and tasteless and very hard to sell for 10 bucks. You try it sometime. But all this preserved my health. I also gained something of an education by constantly reading as there was no TV to watch.

So finally Mark and I went from our ostracism in Berino, N.M. to living with “the group” again. In the very first meeting we attended Lila gave me a scathing criticism just so everyone would remember what a bad person I really was.  I even gave a testimony about the Joe Cocker song “Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood.” Big mistake.

Then something came out in another meeting about something wrong, so Lila immediately jumped on me, and then it turned out to be someone else. I decided then and there I had to leave as this would never improve.

I asked for a ride into Gallup, but of course that could not be, so I got out on the highway and hitched a ride with some Zunis on their way to the liquor store.  (I always found the Natives to be kind and funny, too, and I still carry a fondness for them). Lila’s last words to me were, “well you always liked hardship.” She was so happy to see me go.

I went through all the transition depression, feeling that my life was over, etc. I tried to reconnect with God, but it just wasn’t there anymore, and still isn’t really. I do believe, but I don’t pray or read my Bible. Conundrum. Do I feel that any hope of real faith was drummed out of me? Yes. Although I cannot blame anyone else for that.

As regards to this current situation, I see it like this:  Lila is an extremely formidable personality, way more than Jim.  So why wasn’t Jim accused by Miracle?  I think because he was always kind to her, whereas I actually saw Lila verbally and psychologically abuse Miracle in a shocking manner for a mere child.  She was kind of put in my category of one of suspect character who had to be “brought to heel.”  Then Peter was her parent, even after Sarah left, and Peter is very much under Lila’s thumb.

Many times I wonder if I could have gotten it together without going down that path. If I had I definitely would be happier now, but I can’t change the past, and I choose to still remember some good things about it. I had many, many conversations with many interesting people over the years while out trying to sell banana bread.  (Emphasis on trying.)

Rachel Johnson, Aug. 23, 2017

Sacramento woman: Happy to see military Christian sect shut down

Screen Shot 2019-07-13 at 1.21.20 PM—>Source: Sacramento woman: Happy to see military Christian sect shut down

Religious Cult Leaders and Disciples: Who Leads and Who Joins as Paralleled to Fight Club

Screen Shot 2016-04-01 at 9.16.17 PMOutstanding article here—written by Carla Dechant Behr, brother of deceased ACMTC member Chris Dechant, AKA Joab Evans

—>Religious Cult Leaders and Disciples: Who Leads and Who Joins as Paralleled to Fight Club.